My letter to the editor about the abortion that is Steph's So Dartmouth:URGENT LETTER TO THE EDITORTo Whom it May Concern:Stephanie Herbert disclosed this week: "Please do not be offended by the author's lame attempts at humor and don't send any more hate mail."I'm not offended by Stephanie Herbert's "Steph's So Dartmouth! [the exclamation is a sic but 'so' cynically necessary]" but I for one do not enjoy her article. I find it to be a complete and total waste of perfectly good publication space, and would like to volunteer my services to write an article to replace hers. Let's be real here. The abbreviation article of hers, while full of "sweet" little quirky abbrev's (!), is "obvi" (obvs?) devoid of any legitimate entertainment value other than my enjoyment I get from the inevitable weekly ridicule me and my friends give her writings week after week. I'm not sure where the abbreviations came from (maybe her sorority? seriously, the origin escapes me), since never in my life have I heard several of them, but the un-funny and ignorant abbrevs sent me nearly over the edge. I've sat in Collis, Thayer, and the Hop idly for long enough, reading my Mirror with my coffee, and it's time for it to stop. This week was the last straw. Not only did she write about the dichotomy between jocks and "nonies" or whatever the hell term she used to call people who aren't on teams, but in the end she told us that she didn't really care that the dichotomy existed. It was (predictably) boring and sophmoric and humorous only when I thought of Steph and her So-Dartmouth self being inordinately lazy on the job. Well, then and when she let us all know she sits around with take-out boxes and an empty blitz in-box. Maybe if she stopped writing horrible articles, her friends would stop boycotting her. I also had a LOL moment (that's Laugh Out Loud, what an abbrev!) when I read the aforementioned disclosure she put at the end of the article:"Please do not be offended by the author's lame attempts at humor and don't send any more hate mail."Well, if she thinks that her attempts at humor in her "So Dartmouth !!!!!!!! [sic]" article are "so" "lame", then why are you printing it? And if she's not willing to accept criticism or hate mail, then why are you continuing to respect her as a contributor? Please, if you don't give me her job, give it to someone else. If I get the job, I won't be "So Dartmouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [sic]," but I will be myself. Because when Steph tries to be "So Dartmouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11[sic]" she ends up not being "Dartmouth" at all. So let me write a page in her place, please. And if you do give me her job, and I do it as poorly as she does, then please give it to someone else that isn't me, and let whomever takes my place write an equally scathing letter to the editor.Very Sincerely Yours,Monica Morrison '07They responded:Date: 08 Mar 2005 15:34:28 ESTFrom: The DartmouthSubject: Re: To: Monica C. Morrison--- You wrote:So let me write a page in her place, please.--- end of quote ---Hi Monica,What do you want to write about?Colin BarryPresident, The DartmouthTHE END OF HER TERRIBLE REIGN IS OVER.
Nice, I totally back your letter.So will they get rid of Steph?? Maybe it would just take some more letters like yours to The D editors, not just to Steph. (I'm sure they've received one or two already.)
I'm pretty sure they're getting rid of it. I sent the letter to the editor and to her. The guy made it seem like he was willing to entertain the idea of me writing an article in her stead, but I'm not so sure I'd like to go to the dark side.