March 9, 2005

Worst Film Critic Ever

So I'm looking up reviews on the IMDB of Fellini's when I come across this review from "Brilliant Observations on 1173 Films" (although there seems to be some question as to whether the title is actually "973 Films"). Regardless, this fellow's brilliant observations include the argument that Fellini's film is "Bergmanesque" and that Marcello Mastroianni "is having problems with his characters." Naturally I was wondering what this Mr. Clayton Trapp's credentials were. Actually, he's quite honest that they are as follows:

I have some background in film. I took several film classes at Louisiana State University and appeared as an extra in one of the dumbest films in the history of mankind (Practical Magic). Better yet, I've watched literally thousands (my best estimate is about 10,000) of films, so I know what I like and I know what to look for.

Not only that, but he's trying to sell his ambiguous number of reviews as a book. Mr. Trapp would not be a first time author, he's also published a novel and, from the looks of it, at least one review on He published the novel through PublishAmerica, which, according to this well elaborated argument, treads "on very thin ice between vanity press and scam." Apparently they are a printer (not a publisher) who prays on inexperienced writers, doesn't feel any need to edit their books, and sends their friends mailings to try to pressure them to buy copies. Sign me up!

The moral is this: never try.

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