April 29, 2005

Bush Doctrine not working

U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances of Getting Laid Abroad

"I've been in Amsterdam for two months and have yet to begin a conversation with a cute girl that hasn't ended in a lecture about how big, evil America is taking everyone's oil," said college sophomore Brad Higgs, a participant in Johns Hopkins University's study-abroad program. "I offer to buy them a drink, and they tell me I shouldn't just stand by and watch Bush destroy the world. Look, if I had that type of pull with the president, I obviously wouldn't be out trolling for anonymous Dutch pussy."

Ah who wants those Europeans with their premarital safe sex anyway?

Joe Malchow's virile buddies at The Editorial Board should take heed.

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