My vote, I think, has to go to Maxwell Bryer. There is something extraordinarily irritating to me about the way he manages to completely ignore the possible existence of even the slightest touch of nuance in any of his op-eds. Not only that, but he seems to feel that his audience is simply thick and cannot understand something if it is only said once. Exemplum gratia:
[S]ophomore summer remains a "real" term despite our deepest desires to transform it into "Camp Dartmouth" in both name and practice. The papers and exams are still there and the grades most definitely count. This is a fact that cannot be denied, sidestepped or ignored no matter how much beer in which we attempt to drown it. This is the unfortunate truth of sophomore summer that we must all accept.Okay, well, while I'm at it (Ben Taylor, if you're reading this, I'm really sorry--I'm not trying to just start D-bashing, but this kid really pisses me off), here are one sentence summations of his 6 op-eds.
- Staying Power Must be Recognized: Arabs don't like Israel, but Israel kicks ass militarily, so, yeah, how about that.
- Ravaging the Classics: Computerized special effects ruin my childhood memories of movies whose success depended entirely on special effects, like Star Wars and E.T.
- Getting Real about Reality TV: Reality tv makes Americans stupider, and that can't happen because "we are the leader of the civilized world, and we should take it upon ourselves to reflect this fact in our attitudes, our role models and our television."
- Hail to the Summer Blockbuster: [Despite what I just said about dumb television,] I love dumb movies!
- Starving Sophomore Summer: I need more food so I can rage harder.
- Arab Culture Crisis: See summary of first op-ed.
I emphatically second the deb wassel nomination.
ReplyDelete"I, for one, am taking action against this travesty of American film. I will not stand for it. To this end, I have just recently purchased on E-bay an original, unaltered VHS copy of the Star Wars trilogy which I will one day show to my children so that they may experience it as I have."
ReplyDeletebecause when a film is on VHS, that film is FOREVER.
I sincerely hope this person is not a journalism major - or an English major, for that matter.
ReplyDelete