June 20, 2006

Polar Bears: Humanity's Last Line of Defense

Norway is building an underground bunker somewhere above the Arctic Circle (in Svalbard, a name which should make any Philip Pullman fan smile) which will house an enormous variety of seeds for all kinds of plants, just in case we all nuke each other and all the plants die or global warming kills off the plants first.

The really awesome part about this whole thing is this, though:
While the facility will be fenced in and guarded, Svalbard's free-roaming polar bears, known for their ferocity, could also act as natural guardians, according to the Global Diversity Trust.
These polar bears will also be fitted with shoulder-mounted anti-aircraft missiles and will be trained in judo. That is all.

O, one other thing: check out this blog, a frequently updated site detailing and keeping track of all World Cup related deaths across the globe. At this moment, there have been 18. However, there has been one resurrection that we can chalk up to La Copa Mundial as well:
A 94-year-old declared dead suddenly sprang up and asked when Germany were next playing in the World Cup.

When told she had been declared dead by doctors, Maria Mueller replied: "Not likely, not until I see if Germany wins the World Cup.

"There's still life in these old bones yet, and I certainly couldn't miss the football."

Mrs Mueller had been found slumped over in her chair by son Bernhard Mueller, 66, at their home in Luegde. Neither Bernhard nor a local doctor could find a pulse.

2 comments:

  1. Polar Bears? Sounds like they got the entire thing out of a Philip Pullman book. And when plans to save the world are being based on a children's sci-fi series, that's when you know we're doing something right.

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  2. Awww. Why not sharks with laser-beams mounted on their foreheads?

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