Dear Diary

What a night. I don't pretend to know much about the Dartmouth social scene, what with the Dudes and Chicks doing their dance of hooking up and being sweet and all (Hi Steph!!!). What I do know, however, I learned under the influence of lots and lots of booze. Combine intoxication with my healthy lack of sociability and you have superfly TNT. ..I promise

It all started innocuously enough (cliche alarm). A stiff drink, some taboo charades, and some rich laughs with some friends. As my head began to wobble and the vacant drunken grin was creeping onto my face, it caught my eye across the room. Sure, some people had deemed it unworthy of further decoration, but attitudes like that let the communists win...but I digress. This innocuous lampshade was going to accompany me out.

The things you learn when you wear a comically oversized chinese lamp on your head on a Saturday night.
1) You are "that guy" which actually serves a purpose. When you walk into the room, heads swivel to focus on you in unison. Not only does this allieviate the awkwardness of basement conversations, it provides a focal point for scorn, ridicule and merriment. Really, I think I was performing a public service. Dudes used me as a foil to get at their chicks. Chicks laughed their hearty laughs of affected superiority.
2) You will be challenged. One brother at an undisclosed frat told me I was going to get thrown in to a trashcan. Many others threw sarcastic remarks in my face. It was lovely to be the focal point of decidedly unfocused rage.
3) You find unexpected joy in wearing a comically oversized chinese lantern.

So, a relatively innocent evening was transformed into a fantastic one by way of wearing trash on your head while drunk. I was trying to think of a deeper metaphor about the statement above, but then I realized I am really hungover. So I'll leave it to you, Diary, to come up with something meaningful.

Until tomorrow, kisses,

A.A.