January 11, 2006

Oh Fuck, More About Hipsters Again?/This Letter Some Guy Wrote

At the risk of falling into a rut (Seal addresses Dartmouth review thoughtfully, I follow up with some vitriolic bullshit) a coupla things in this last one got the ol' vitriol flowin' pretty good. I've been buying that shit by the gallon jug at Trader Joe's and it's coming through reeeal nice.

!) Nick Desai Doesn't Know What Vice is. If you're starting to write some smarmy article about hipsters, and you want to shit out some extremely predictable judgments at the end of it, and somehow you need to fill like seventeen pages with text, the least you could do is your fucking homework. Writing an article about hipsters without mentioning Vice is like writing an article about William F. Buckley without mentioning that he's decomposing.


!!) Everett P. Strong (of the Bradenton, Florida Strongs) wrote a stupid fucking letter about how conservatives are so cool because they, unlike us joyless lefties, demonstrate an "appealing joie de vivre." As evidence he gives us this delightful anecdote:
George Will did a piece on Bill Buckley, part of which says it all—He: "Patricia, would you consider marriage with me?" She: "Bill, I’ve been asked this question many times. To others I have said no. To you I say yes. Now may I please get back and finishmy hand?" A liberal would never understand this.

Number one, he's right. I don't get that shit at all, and the only comment I can make on it is that I personally rate the probability that this exchange never, ever took place anywhere at around 99%.

Number two, if they're going to try to make a soul singer look dumb by adding little [sic]s after every word little typo and capitalization error they could at least copy-edit their own shit. I would cite something but you know what? I don't have to. Pick a page and read about six lines.

Number three, fuck that. I'm a liberal and there's a lot of things I take joy in. For instance, consensual sex between homosexuals. And rap music. All the things they consider "good and fun"- which is what? Poker games? Obnoxious banter? Polo? Gay-bashing? Lynching black people (whoops, cheap shot. They used to think that was fun, but now they all agree that it is bad, bad, bad)? You know what, Everett? You're right again, honky! I don't get that shit at all!

!!!) G. Emily Ghods-Esfahani. Oh hello, Shakespeare article. You know, I think I'd like to read you now. Perhaps you contain some sort of insight as to BBBAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRFFFFFFF Oh God I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to vomit just then but your BBBAAAAAAAARRFFFFFFFFfff cough cough prose style is so BBBAAAARRRRRRRRFFFFFF BBBAAAARRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFf BBBAAAAAAAAAAaaaaAaaaaaAAARRrrrRRRRRRFFFFFFFFF.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous2:51 PM

    Every time people try to generalize about the differences between the experiences of hanging out socially with liberals and conservatives, they sound retarded.

    I know just as many liberals as conservatives who have "joie de vivre" and just as many of each who have "mal de vivre."