January 30, 2006

What the Review might be like if written by liberals

Well, occasionally they fire a few zingers with Review-like verbosity. Fun anyway.

50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005

Some highlights:

Michelle Malkin: "A curious case of racial Stockholm syndrome with a palpable lust for violent ideological oppression and displays of imperial power."

Martha Stewart: "Stewart, a woman so frigid she makes Gila monsters look cuddly, rode this wave of infamy to a resurgence in popularity and a second television show. To the nation’s delight, she then used this public forum to demean the aborigines in her charge with robotic mordancy."

Brownie: "A man of geological indolence, Brown makes lichens seem dynamic."

Johnny Damon: "Going from the Red Sox to the Yankees is like fucking the guy that murdered your husband." That one's not very Review-like.

The Schiavo one is also very funny, but I will let you read that one on your own.

Oh, and make sure to read Tom Friedman's (#7). I would quote it, but I'd have to quote the whole thing.

2 comments:

  1. Dick Cheney - "So cartoonishly evil he defies parody."

    Awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3:45 PM

    The line about Bush interpreting "the constitution like a Unitarian interprets the bible" is a pretty sweet analogy.

    ReplyDelete