February 27, 2006

Blind Item

I haven't been on campus for a while but I'm wondering if a couple of you might help me out.

I sometimes enjoy reading Somethingawful, which is a web community of people who have been charitably described as "dyspeptic." Anyway, every Sunday they do this thing where they troll internet forums and poke fun at various obsessives/fetishists. It's not really the most enlightened way to behave, but it is occasionally very funny (in a way that makes you feel guilty for laughing).

The upshot of all this is that I think I found a Review staffer on a forum for miniature fetishists (as in they want to have sex with teeny-tiny women, like Thumbelina), and I wanna know who it is. The picture is here, and it's delicious. My suspicions are founded on the following:

1) Subject is pasty and white.
2) Review motto "Nemo me impune lacessit" appears on subject's sig.
3) Subject is fantastic.

If you divulge the identity of subject I promise not to ridicule him in any forum except my own head. I will be perfectly civil and nice. However, I will probably tell Seal, and he has a bit of a mean streak as well as a nasty Meth habit, which means he will do anything and everything in his power to get more of that sweet, sweet crystal. Be warned.

If, on the other hand, the subject can be proven NOT to be affiliated with the Review in any way, I will write a letter to the D apologizing for suspecting that one of their number may have been a closet miniature fetishist. Whether they publish it is of course up to them.

1 comment:

  1. Note to all prospective employers: Connor is not serious about the meth thing. I didn't even know it came in crystals. I thought it was a pill, actually.