October 26, 2005

Speaking of t3h Gayness

Anderson Cooper and Shepard Smith got outed yesterday as hot (young?) gay assfuckers. In case you are a thinking individual and thus avoid Fox News like the fucking plague, Shepard Smith is this bug-eyed dude who anchors a newscast or some shit, I don't really know. Here's a picture:


See, his eyes are too big. Look.

Setting aside the hilarious albeit obvious jokes about the hypocrisy inherent to simultaneously being gay and on Fox News (you know the drill: metaphorical cocksucking of Bush/Cheney/crony du jour on the air constrasted with the literal sucking of hot gay cocks), let's talk about the issue at stake here: is it okay to out closeted dudes just because they're Republican? That is to say, is it okay to out those homosexuals who actively strengthen a political party which marginalizes other homosexuals? Let me think about this for a minute and get back to you.

1) From a deontological perspective, Shepard shouldn't be outed- his sexuality techinically concerns nobody but himself, and outing him is a violation of his agency. But deontology is bullshit, so we should probably think about it

2) From within an ontological framework. If outing Shepard smith would advance the gay cause and lead to less people being marginalized, I guess it might be okay. It won't, though, because all it would do is prove hypocrisy, and in order to realize that hypocrisy is bad you have to be able to think logically. If you honestly believe the shit about the gays and the lobsters some asshead wrote in a book two thousand years ago, and you believe it to the point where you can actually HATE someone based solely on that, is it going to rattle your tiny, putrid little world when you learn that some dude you used to watch on the news actually fucks other dudes? No, it won't. With regards to homosexuality (and a lot of other shit, but homosexuality especially) you can point out hypocrisy from here until the Second Coming and it's not going to do shit.

So then the only reason to Shepard is that doing so entertains me personally, which, much as it pains me to say it, isn't good enough. Leave the smug asshole in his closet- if that's where he wants to be, he can fucking stay there. I'm not going to miss him.

Also coming out today: Sheryl Swoopes, reigning MVP of the WNBA, though of her own volition. Her own statement is here. More later. [Andrew]

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:16 PM

    Accusing someone of being gay isn't the same thing as "outing" them.

    I hope you get gangbanged by Sheryl Swoopes, Anderson Cooper and Shepard Smith, and it's broadcast on Fox News. People probably keep voting for Republicans because they look for the counterarguments and all they see is douches like you talking out of their asses.